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Manitoba Agriculture, Food and Rural Initiatives

November 2005

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Family Resource Management

Managing Change Together
Are You Pushing Too Hard/ Too Fast?  

There are many symptoms that reflect when a person or group is facing more demands for change than they can handle. Listed below are warning signs that often suggest a person or group is contending with more change than they can adequately absorb.

These signals are indicators of change-related problems only if an increase in their frequency happens during periods of major change. If, however, several of these symptoms were present before a period of significant change occurred, they may be pointing to problems unrelated to the challenge of change. Also, one or more of the following symptoms presented on a short-term basis may not be a concern. It is when these symptoms continue to appear overtime or when they are highly exaggerated that there may be a problem.
 
THINKING
 
  • Inability to concentrate and focus
  • Inability to recognize most important issues when faced with confusing information
  • Failure to consider all critical information when making decisions
  • Overcautious in making decisions, requests more information than necessary
  • Inability to see the hidden dangers in opportunities or recognize the peril within a positive situation
  • Seek short-sighted improvements at the expense of long-term progress
  • Use of simple diagnosis and action plans to deal with problems that require a more complex approach
  • Avoiding or denying signals of declining performance
  • Exhibition of poor judgement and problem solving
  • Inability to make decisions or making odd decisions
ACTIONS
 
  • Haste and impulsiveness
  • Oversights leading to errors
  • Improperly executed tasks
  • "Frozen" when action is needed
  • Tardiness
  • Absenteeism
  • Retirement on the job
  • Suicide attempts
HEALTH
 
  • Headaches
  • Changed appetite
  • Significant shift in weight
  • Sleep disturbances
  • Exhaustion
  • Stomach problems
  • Migraines
  • Frequent or chronic colds
  • Elevated blood pressure
  • Ulcers
  • Eating disorders
  • Heart attack
  • Stroke
  • Substance abuse
  • Physical breakdown
  • Increased smoking
RELATIONSHIPS
 
  • Low trust
  • Lack of openness
  • Poor communication
  • Unwilling to provide assistance to others
  • Inability to integrate ideas from others
  • Reduced effectiveness within teams
  • Criticism, alienation, and scapegoating
  • Conflict with fellow workers
  • Inappropriate anger and bitterness
  • Blaming and defensiveness
  • Job frustrations vented at home
  • Homicide
  • Promoting a negative attitude in others
  • Deception and lying
  • Inability to see how one contributed to a problem or negative situation
  • Undermining of leadership
  • Malicious agreement
  • Openly blocking of tasks
  • Family abuse
  • Divorce
  • Strike
  • Sabotage
  • Physical violence

Material adapted from ODR, The Challenge of Change, 1995

WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?

Sometimes in the process of pushing for what we want, we forget to figure out what exactly do we want. Instead of pushing hard and fast, spend some time thinking about what you can "live with" and can you live with the worst case scenario. Answer the questions below to help you prepare for your next well timed discussion!

What I know  ________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________

What I need to know __________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

Who can help answer it _________________________________________________________

What I want  ________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

What I don't want  ____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

What do we agree on  _________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

What I could "live with" ________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

What is the worst that could happen if... ____________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________

How can I prevent it from going wrong? What can be done to minimize impact if it does go

wrong? _____________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

What is the best that could happen if ... _____________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________

Think of a person you want to convince/change. Have you seen any of these symptoms during the time you have been trying to get your way? Are you pushing too hard? Have you been approaching them at the wrong time? ie.. When there's not enough time to discuss it fully? When they're not alert, feeling well, or are stressed? If you detect a tremendous resistance it is time to back off, and re-think your position. If you want to persist make sure you realize that a negative consequence might occur.

 
Improving Family Communication
DO'S DON'TS
  • Respect other's values and opinions
  • Be willing to compromise
  • Try to understand the feelings of others
  • Choose a calm time for discussions
  • Accept that decision making is a complex, lifelong challenge, and requires cooperation and self-discipline
  • Learn from others and teach others
  • Be cooperative
  • Accept responsibility
  • Use discussions to condemn, blame, embarrass and belittle
  • Insist that things be done your way
  • Ignore children's feelings and their need to learn and practice
  • Choose a bad time for discussion
  • Refuse to share responsibility for decision making (and then criticize later)
  • Criticize a person's decision and deny them the opportunities to be independent and responsible

For more information related to this topic ask for the following fact sheets:


For Further Information See Your Local Manitoba Agriculture, Food and Rural Initiatives Office.

Prepared by:
Jill Falloon, PHEc
Donna Hastings, PHEc
Home Economics Section
915 - 401 York Avenue
Winnipeg MB R3C OP8
Reviewed 1999

 

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