Healthy Relationships… in the Dating World

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CRUSHING OVER SOMEONE SPECIAL AND FALLING IN LOVE CAN BE A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE. BUT LETíS ALL REMEMBER TO BE SAFE!

Remember, relationships start with you.

Get to know your personal interests and your relational boundaries, and share them with someone who will accept and respect you for you.

Be good to yourself. Ask what you need. Here are myÖ

  • Strengths
  • Needs

There are people who care about you and want to support you.

  • Who are your best supporters?

BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP IS A BIG DECISION AND INVOLVES MUTUAL RESPECT FROM BOTH PARTIES.

Everyone deserves to be in a healthy relationship, free from violence and abuse.

ALWAYS STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF.

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Not sure if youíre in a healthy relationship? Click on the Break the Silence toolkit, and learn about what healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships may look like.

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

  • You and your partner feel safe and share how each other are feeling.
  • You and your partner listen to and respect each other.
  • You can spend time apart, pursuing separate interests and friends.
  • You can disagree and talk to each other about it in a respectful way.

UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

  • Your disagreements often turn into fights.
  • Your partner is jealous if you talk to other guys or girls.
  • You are embarassed to say how you are feeling because your partner will not care.

ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

  • Your partner treats you with disrespect, ignores you or makes fun of you.
  • Your partner orders you to not talk to other guys or girls.
  • Your partner does not allow you to spend time doing things on your own.

You can also watch videos on the Stop the Violence website showing young men and women sharing what they bring to a healthy relationship and what is expected in return. These videos were created by The Broadway Neighbourhood Centreís JustTV program and the Manitoba government.

Most girls donít think they are at risk for an abusive relationship. But if the person youíre dating is hurting you with their words or their hands, this is not healthy. Tell a trusted adult, such as an Elder, a teacher or your parents. People canít help you if they donít know you need help.

If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship, you still have the right and ability to make the best choices for you, even if it means letting the relationship go.

IF ONE PERSON IS DOING ALL THE SACRIFICING ALL THE TIME, THE RELATIONSHIP IS UNEQUAL.

Keep in mind that itís not always the ďotherĒ person that is abusive in a relationship. Girls can be violent or abusive, too. Do you use mentally or physically abusive behaviour toward the person you are dating? Itís important to keep yourself safe from abuse, but it is equally important not to manipulate or abuse the person you are dating.

REMEMBER, DONíT RESPOND TO ABUSE WITH ABUSE!

For more information about what to do about dating violence, go to the Government of Manitoba's Teen Dating Violence website.

HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME IS A BIG DECISION, so itís worth thinking carefully about it
AND WAITING UNTIL YOU ARE REALLY READY. But how do you know when you are ready?
ITíS OK TO WAIT as long as you want before having sex. AND DONíT WORRY ABOUT WHAT EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING Ė INDEPENDENCE IS A SIGN OF MATURITY.

YOU CAN ALSO VISIT THE FOLLOWING WEBSITES FOR MORE INFORMATION:

  • YesMeansYes.com - Consent and sexual assault info for youth.
  • Teen Talk is a youth health education program that is part of the Klinic Community Health Centre. You will find fact sheets on a variety of topics (ex: birth control), a question-and-answer section and tons of other cool information.
  • The Native Youth Sexual Health Network is an organization by and for Indigenous youth that works across issues of sexual and reproductive health, rights and justice throughout the U.S. and Canada.

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All About Consent

If something happens ďagainst your will,Ē it means you did not agree to it and did not give your permission or consent. Consent means giving permission for something to happen.

This is especially important with sex.

ALWAYS REMEMBER: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO STATE YOUR OWN SEXUAL LIMITS.

You cannot consent to sex if:

  • you are drunk or high
  • you feel threatened or bullied
  • the other person is someone in a position of trust (ex: teacher, coach or babysitter)
  • the other person is a family member (ex: relative, extended family or foster family)

It does not matter if the person who assaulted you is your boyfriend or girlfriend, someone you want to have sex with, someone you have had consensual sex with before, or if they have assaulted you before. If you do not or cannot give consent, it means that they have committed sexual assault.

SEXUAL ASSAULT IS A CRIME.

Please call the Klinic 24-Hour Sexual Assault Crisis Line at 204-786-8631 in Winnipeg; toll free 1-888-292-7565 in Manitoba for counselling, information, support and advocacy about sexual assault. Or visit their website for more information at Klinic Community Health.

What is the difference between sex and gender?

BIOLOGICAL SEX AND GENDER ARE DIFFERENT.

Sometimes people get confused about the difference between gender and sex. Gender refers to the gender that someone identifies with, while sex usually refers to the sex someone is assigned at birth.

Sex is what you are assigned at birth.

Your sex is usually determined by a variety of things including chromosomes, reproductive organs and secondary sex
characteristics.

Gender refers to how you identify.

Someone can identify as male, female, in-between, both or neither. Gender identity can be infl uenced by culture, feelings, thoughts, clothing, people around us and more.

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