Stop The Violence

Be more than a bystander....Break the silence
Quick Escape

Know someone being abused in their relationship?

CALL 911 for immediate help from police if the person is in DANGER or you fear for their safety.

CALL 1-877-977-0007 if the person is not in immediate danger, and you want to talk about their situation. You can call this 24-hour domestic violence information/crisis line to discuss options and get information about services available in your area.

Tips for talking to someone who is being abused - show them that you care.

Everybody deserves to be in a healthy relationship free from violence and abuse. If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, there are things you can do to help.

Tips on how to help:

Ten things to say to someone experiencing domestic violence:

  1. I believe you.
  2. This is not your fault and you don't deserve to be abused.
  3. I'm afraid for your safety.
  4. I'm afraid for your children's safety.
  5. If [the abusive person] doesn't get help, the abuse will probably continue and may get worse.
  6. I am here for you whenever you need me. OR I am here to listen and support you.
  7. You are not alone - there are shelters and other services that can help you.
  8. What can I do to help you?
  9. There is no excuse for family violence - people feel angry, but everyone has a choice in how they respond to the situation.
  10. Do you have a safety plan in case of emergency? If not, you could call 1-877-977-0777 (the toll-free domestic violence information/crisis line) to get help developing one.

Ten things not to say to someone experiencing domestic violence:

  1. Just leave if it's so bad. OR How could you possibly stay with [the abusive person] after that?
  2. Did you provoke it? OR What did you do to make [the abusive person] so mad?
  3. You should go back and try a little harder.
  4. People make mistakes; you should give [the abusive person] another chance.
  5. It is only because [the abusive person] was drunk/high/depressed/etc.
  6. [The abusive person] seems like a nice person to me, that doesn't sound like something he/she would do.
  7. I haven't noticed any bruises or cuts on you - how can I be sure you're telling the truth?
  8. You should stay for your children's sake.
  9. How about I talk to [the abusive person] for you?
  10. If you go back, I won't be here for you next time.

Adapted from:

Action ontarienne contre la violence faite aux femmes (AOcVF) & the Ontario Coalition of Rape Crisis Centres (OCRCC). (2012). Retrieved from Draw the Line campaign website: http://www.draw-the-line.ca/files/resources/DTL-UserGuide.pdf

Queensland Government. (2010). Support Someone Who is Experiencing Domestic and Family Violence. Retrieved from Queensland Government website: http://www.communities.qld.gov.au/resources/communityservices/violenceprevention/dfvpm-brochure.pdf

Student Advocacy and Violence Prevention, Eastern Washington University (2010). 5 Things to Say to a Victim of Intimate Partner Violence. Retrieved from First Responder Quick Guide website: access.ewu.edu/Documents/VPVA/FR/quick%20guides/5things/5thingspv.pdf

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